I get asked quite often how I balance two kids. It's fairly simple, patience. Patience is the key. Having a two year old and a three month old is no where near easy, but we have found ways together to make sure everybody is content, happy and entertained all at once. Thus, creating less chaos. Here are a few simple steps to help create a somewhat-calm environment.
1. Create a routine
This is what our day consists of most of the time. Of course we have certain days for cleaning the entire home, laundry, family days etc, which are also planned out during the week.
It is so vital to us to have a routine. Without routine our home turns in to chaos pretty quickly. Most toddlers also thrive on routine, so it is not only good for you but good for the entire family. Something very important to me is to keep the house clean. Keep wipes around to keep the countertops clean, vaccuum when you wake up, do the dishes as you use them, keep a candle lit and keep your home in a calm and clean space. The second my home starts to clutter, so does my mind.
2. Create responsibilities for children
I think if you are trying to balance two children, having the older sibling helping you is very important. Not only do they feel included they also feel empowered and it gives them a sense of responsibility. Weather it be helping clean the house, doing dishes, changing baby's diaper or throwing the trash away, give them a responsibility and praise them when they complete it. I think it's also very easy for the other sibling to feel left out because new borns do require so much attention so do your best to be with the both of them. Put the newborn on the floor next to you and let your older child on your lap. They still are your baby, and always will be, so don't let them feel any different. Set aside a day that you can take your older baby out on a date and spoil them with love.
3. Learn to breath through it
It's very important to learn that all children are different. Not one discipline will work with every child. Some may need to be put on time out, some will calm down enough to listen, some may
get spanked by their parents. One thing that I have learned is to breath through it until the tantrum is over. Ignore the situation until they are ready to listen because yelling over them or trying to punish them when they are trying to communicate something to you, will do neither of you any good.
4. Find time for yourself
I know it may seem hard to find any time for yourself but it is crucial. Jeremy works 5-6 days a week but we have still formed a schedule where I get to take some time away from the house on Saturday's. Weather it be that I want to go out with friends for the night or if I choose to stay home and take a bath alone. I think it is important to know that you are still a priority and be able to look forward to "your" day during the week. Here's a list of mommy related activities that we all deserve and I take advantage of once a week.
I know it can be hard to focus on yourself but in order to have a happy family you need to have a happy mommy, so make yourself a priority as well. Get yourself a new pair of jeans, get your hair done, go to target and get some new home decor. Whatever brings joy to you, get outside and do it!
5. Find an escape
I think something that has really helped me during motherhood is finding my "escape". Not so much to escape reality but to have something that I enjoy doing that I can do with my children and during nap time. The two things that I enjoy most are writing and reading. During quiet time or nap time, if I'm not doing things around the house, I'm doing one of the two. It gives you something that you can do during the week and a quiet little escape in your own home. Find your indoor hobby that you can do not only alone, but with your children. On the days where I am seeming to be overly stressed, I just take a breath, set up an activity for Benny and focus on something else for a minute. Here's a list of hobbies you can look into and maybe find a new interest!
6. Give yourself credit. You Rock and your an amazing mother. Remember during the hard times, they won't be little long. Here's a little quote you can save and peek at on those hard times.
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