Pregnancy, Labor and Delivery

 

I LOVED being pregnant. I soaked up each and every bit that comes with pregnancy. The cravings, laziness, glowing, happiness and all the above. I worked up until I was 7 months pregnant at a local sushi restaurant in my home town. Due to back pain, I had to stop. I had back surgery when I was sixteen years old because I had severe scoliosis, so working that long was even a challenge for me. I have always been the type to be working two jobs, going to school and having my plate completely full to keep myself busy and my mind occupied. But for once, I truly enjoyed being by myself, doing nothing. Because I knew I was finally, not alone. My pregnancy was full of barbequing, laying in the sun and lounging on my couch pigging out, watching desperate housewives.

     Though I did have horrible tailbone pain, could barely sleep, was peeing every twenty minutes, NOTHING could make the pure bliss of pregnancy dull for me. I got quite huge, but loved that big ol basketball in my belly. I loved the kicks, the shooting pain from the punches to my ribs and the horrible heartburn because I knew MY little creation was in there. And I could not wait to meet this little human.

 

 

 

     When it came to naming him we had a hard time agreeing on a name. I liked wild, crazy and unique names and Jeremy liked old fashioned, classy and bold names. I had already picked out Benjamin's middle name, Anthony after my father. I had looked EVERYWHERE: books, movies, shows, online- anywhere I could possibly think of. Finally one day I was at my moms house and looking through names on my phone. I came across the name Benjamin, and it just felt right. Like that feeling where you get butterflies and just know, THATS IT. It was classy, bold, fun, and his initials would be BAM. a little wild as well. I had approached Jeremy with the name and he loved it! we finally found a name! Now, Benjamin also had more of a meaning to me. Growing up I had a very hard time with some of my family. My brother and I had quite the falling out and I never really trusted a man in my life. My mothers co worker, and good friend, Ben was someone I looked up to so greatly. He was sweet, silly and protective over me. I remember always running to him and giving him the biggest bear hugs every time I saw him. I finally felt like there was a man I could trust, and I called him my brother. When I was in high school, Ben got a dui and he was a fire fighter. So basically his career was over at that point. That night he went to his friends house and committed suicide. It was so hard for me, the one man I finally trusted left. he left me. he left all of us. I will never forget him. And now my beautiful creation will have the same name as someone so great. So loving, genuine and protective. Just like my son will be raised to be. (water works in full effect) Anyways, When I saw the name Benjamin it had so much meaning and love already created, I knew it was the name for my son.  

 

(two days before I went into labor)

 

Labor

     For some reason, I knew I would go into labor at 2am, I just had no idea which day. My two due dates were the 7th and the 11th. So, April 9th at 2am, I woke up with hip pain. I thought I had just slept on my side for too long so I turned over and tried to fall back asleep. The pain kept getting worse and worse and I finally thought, IM IN LABOR! I hopped up, called the hospital and started keeping track of my contractions. They told me to relax until my contractions were about 2-5 minutes apart, which could take hours. Well, Jeremy ran a warm bath for me and within less than an hour my contractions were about 3 minutes apart and STRONG. I called my mom and told her it was time! We got to the hospital and when they checked to see how dilated I was, I was already 5cm. Which meant I could get an epidural, but of course I wanted to try to do it naturally. well that was NOT fun. I went 8 hours naturally, and at 9 centimeters I had to get an epidural due to my body not relaxing enough and they needed to get Benjamin out. I got the epidural, pushed for two hours and my beautiful creation was here! He was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. so pure, innocent and blissful. He of course was crying, but every time I held him he stopped. I had no idea what I was doing, but all I knew is we both felt so calm when we were together. He came out a big 8 pounds 12 ounces, born at 12:23 pm and was 21 3/4 inches long.

 

 

(after my epidural, about to push)

(Benjamin is here!)

 

 

     Within a couple minutes of him being born the doctors noticed his crying sounded abnormal, like he was in pain. They had doctor after doctor, specialists, and who knows who else came in, but just about everyone came in to check what was going on with Ben. They took him to the nicu and ended up not having the right technicians at the hospital, So Ben had to be rushed to Stanford, a hospital about an hour away. I was ready to pack my bags and go. But they wouldn't let me. My uterus was not shrinking back and they had to keep on an iv and keep a close eye on me. I was SO scared. And pissed! Why do they have to take my baby from me? I just waited 10 months to see this beautiful creation and your taking him from me?! I was devastated, angry, sad, happy, mortified, but so scared. All I wanted to do was go with my baby and make sure he was okay, and they wouldn't let me go. Jeremy packed his stuff, packed the car and followed the ambulance up to Stanford. I stayed at the hospital. I had to settle with constant pictures of my little Benjamin from Jeremy and phone calls every hour until the next day. The next morning, I woke up, pumped, signed some paperwork and I was OUT! my mom picked me up, we went home and grabbed Benjamin an outfit and to Stanford we went! Seeing him again felt so good. To hold him. kiss him, feel him and have him in my arms was all I needed. Benjamin ended up having to undergo a minor surgery but everything was okay and he was healthy. and that was and is all that mattered. We had to stay there another day, while he was being monitored in the nicu, but we could visit, hold and feed him whenever we wanted. Jeremy and I had to stay in the guest waiting room because they had no bedrooms available. Those days were full of pumping and praying.

 

(daddy feeding Benny in the nicu)

 

     The next day, we got the okay to go home. I cannot even begin to explain the joy I felt. I GET TO BRING MY BABY HOME! he's all mine! no more wires, monitors or little plastic beds. He was finally coming home with us. My mom came that day, we put him in his little going home outfit, snuggled him into his car seat and off we went! My dog whiskey was patiently waiting in the car to meet his new baby brother. He was so cute. He sniffed him out, gave him kisses and to home we went!

     Benjamin was such a good baby. He was so happy, and loving and everything I've always needed in my life. He was just so pure and perfect to me. God had blessed me with the greatest gift I could ever ask for. And even though we had a couple minor difficulties, he was home with us. Healthy and happy in our arms. Our family is complete.

     And every battle we go through, is yet, just another feather earned.

 

(home with my boys!)