Fading Friendships

 

     Lately I've been having a hard time really grasping the difference in my life and my friend's life, and how little we have in common any longer. I cant expect my twenty year old friends to want to watch a movie and eat pizza on a Friday night, but I wish I could. I think its really just starting to hit me harder lately as my mom role increases. I no longer am able to sleep in, wake up and worry about my hair and outfit of the day. My morning now consist of waking up at 6am, making Benjamin breakfast, cleaning the house, playing, reading with him, chasing him around, grocery shopping almost daily, working, lunch, naps, phone calls, bills, dinner..is the list over yet? Don't get me wrong, this is the best role I will ever have in my life. I finally have purpose and happiness, just not much time.

     During my pregnancy, for some of my friends it was hard for them to accept that their partner in crime is now resigning and settling down. And a year later, some have yet to accept that. I've noticed I now have to watch how often I talk about my son, being a mom and my new life as it is. Not only is it clearly not a subject non moms can relate to, but defiantly not a partying twenty two year old is interested in. Nor am I too interested in the boys, drinks and clubs they love to chat about either. I still try to do the occasional going out to dinner or having a drink, but at the end of the night they will be at the bars and I will be in bed with my son. It is an extremely difficult balance to maintain but I am in my early twenties and can not expect my friends to be in the same place as I am.

      All of the friendships that I have had in my life started young, and still continue. I take pride in my friendships and fight to keep them strong and solid. As do I for any loved ones in my life. I try to tend to everyone at the same time, keep solid friendships and happy friends.  I'm constantly trying to make time, phone calls and date nights once Ben is asleep. But I don't think my friends understand how much energy it takes for me to even do that. Certain friends of mine are calm and totally okay with just kicking back at home or just grabbing a bite to eat. And these days, that IS my type of fun. I don't want to go to the bars, I don't want to party, I just want to be at home with my son. The amazing friends of mine that remain understand that. They love ben with all they've got, they would rather spend time at my house with my son and I then go out to get a drink. They face time him, love him, and understand that he is my main priority and the love of my life. And some of my dearest friends tell me all the time what an amazing woman Ben has turned me into. I focus so hard on being loyal, honest, positive, mature, successful and happy. And I truly take pride in the woman I am today.

     With growth, there is always going to be trials and tribulations for you to go through and grow from. And in life you are going to have to pick and choose your battles. Truth is, the ones that want to be in your life, WILL. They will make time, and love your little ones because they love you. and if they don't, then that is their choice. The best part of it now is I have it all- my partner in crime, my best friend and my son, all in one.

     Let go of the ones that don't care to be present, give time to the ones that do and radiate love to attract the good people surrounding you.